Kelley Tuthill, A Cancer Survivor In The News on CancerForward.org

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While being treated for breast cancer, Kelley joined with Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and created a video: Tips for Tying a Headscarf: The New How-to Video.
PHOTO: Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

Kelley’s story began when she found a lump in one of her breasts. She went to a doctor assuming that it was related to breast feeding her infant daughter. “I absolutely did not think it was cancer. I thought it was going to be something related to breast feeding. Not in a million years,” she says. Quickly after surgery to remove the affected breast, Kelley began chemotherapy and radiation. Due to uplifting complimentary therapies offered by Dana Farber Cancer’s Leonard P. Zakim Center for Integrative Therapies, Kelley partook in yoga, acupuncture, massages and Reiki before her treatment sessions. “I was really lucky that Dana Farber offered these amazing luxuries…Reiki was one I thought there was no way – how would this possibly help you?  It ended up being so relaxing, so comforting,” Kelley says. “Energy works at a time when you feel so vulnerable.”

Despite this feeling of overwhelming defenselessness, Kelley decided to openly share her survivor experience from diagnosis to remission. “As a journalist, I always ask people to share their stories. I decided to share mine in the hopes this will provide information or hope for others,” she says. Having already been used to being in the public eye as a TV reporter, making her story public became easier, but also served a therapeutic purpose for her. “It just seemed that something good should come out of my personal pain. I made a decision early on and ultimately hope to inspire people.”

And inspire she did. Kelley began receiving hundreds upon hundreds of letters, stories, book, prayer shawls and resources from people who had heard her story. “People were amazing. It was overwhelming,” says Kelley. She also found it to be one of the most beneficial parts of her survivor journey – hearing stories from other cancer survivors. Their strength and courage to openly share their experiences helped Kelley feel stronger going through her own battle. “People who have been through cancer feel an obligation to help other people get through it. It was really what I needed and I appreciated it,” she says.

In 2009, Kelley and fellow breast cancer survivor, Elisha Daniels, wrote a comprehensive guidebook of resources, tips and suggestions for those working through a breast cancer diagnosis, called You Can Do This!: Surviving Breast Cancer Without Losing Your Sanity or Your Style. Some of the resources Kelley used during her experience were from word of mouth. She decided to organize all the information she received into one place. The most important message the co-authors wanted to get across to others with breast cancer was support. “Some people diagnosed go online and look at statistics, which I think is the worst thing to do. This is friendly advice; good positive support,” Kelley says.

While some of the public attention Kelley received was not always positive – “Emotionally, at times, it got a little hard because other people wanted to share their experiences with you and you had to take some of the feedback with a grain of salt. While they are trying to make connections, they can maybe be telling you what you shouldn’t hear in the moment,” – she has spent  her time on and off camera lending a hand for local and national breast cancer organizations. Kelley has been distinguished as a “Hero Among Us” by the Boston Celtics and was listed among her peers in the 2011 book Boston Inspirational Women. She continues to take part in fundraising work with the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. “They have a simple goal of trying to find cures,” Kelley says. She also notes the Massachusetts-based Ellie Fund, which provides support services for breast cancer patients and their families.

Kelley cites the advances made in treatment as one of her blessings. She received the drug, Tamoxifen, a treatment aimed at blocking the effects of estrogen in breast tissue. But above all else, every day, Kelley had hope. “You always have to believe even if the statistics are built against you… why not believe you are the smaller statistic. Everyday there is progress towards cures. Hope is the biggest thing there is. I mean, it’s true. There are new treatments every single day. We live in a great time,” she says.

Ray Johnston, A Cancer Survivor In The News on CancerForward.org

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It was while playing for the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks that Ray Johnston discovered he had leukemia. Here, a trophy moment with his one-time teammate, Mavericks’ power forward Dirk Nowitzi.

He’s a modern Odysseus whose talents and determination have taken him from an undrafted signee with the Dallas Mavericks to lying in a hospital bed in a four-month coma, and finally landing center stage at a rock concert. His journey has been documented in an HDNet television series and marveled by reporters and supporters alike.

It would be generous to say there are long odds attached to an undrafted player making an NBA roster. Practically, the chances are those of a Mega-Million lottery. After playing in only two college games while at the University of Alabama, Ray couldn’t make the developmental league. “Rightly so,” he says.  Johnston wasn’t on anyone’s list of pro prospects and he knew it.

After college, Ray moved to Dallas and began a successful career as a mortgage broker, focused on career more than athletics.  After joining a local gym where he’d play ball, his focus began to change.  Former Dallas Cowboys Michael Irvin and Deion Sanders saw Ray’s ability when working out and urged him not to turn away from sports. “They gave me a lot of confidence,” Ray says, something that was missing during his college days.

With elite professional athletes cheering him on, Ray entered a local Hoop-It-Up tournament held outside American Airlines Center, the home court of the Dallas Mavericks. Owner Mark Cuban and team President Donnie Walsh saw Ray play and were impressed enough to invite him to try out for the team along with 20 other players.

The higher the level of play, the higher Ray’s game rose. His skills as a point guard where evident as he continually led his pick-up teams to victory during the tryouts. Out of the 20 invited players, only Ray was offered a spot on the team. “I thought I was being Punk’d.” Donnie Nelson told him flat out that he kept looking for a reason to pass him over, “but I couldn’t.” In a competitive environment, Ray had “high confidence, no pressure” and simply played much better when he played aside better players. In the span of a month, he went from selling mortgages to playing against Yao Ming and the Chinese National Team.  He had made the NBA.

In the next several months, he would play with rookies Devon Harris and Josh Howard in summer league camp, making friends and impressing coaches. He was the only player who came to practice five hours early. On a team with Dirk Nowitzski, he was determined to do everything possible to earn a position.

Ray’s maverick world changed very quickly. After bumping shins in a pick-up game, his leg began to swell. Thinking it was a very minor injury, he wasn’t initially concerned. The next day, he found the bruise wouldn’t heal.  His blood wasn’t clotting normally. He began to take things more seriously.  It turned out that his blood was 84% leukemic.

Once diagnosed with cancer, Ray remained in a hospital for four and half months. He was placed in a medically-induced coma from August until November.  It took another three to four weeks to “get his head back.” His mother was determined to make his recovery room as positive as possible. “Upbeat, upbeat” she continually told visitors before they came to see Ray.

Ray believed his parents played a monumental role in his triumph into remission.  “My dad worked hard to be a success” he says. “I was subliminally installed to think I was tough and had to earn my keep.” Though they divorced when Ray was four, his parents both helped prepare and encourage Ray during the difficult treatments and procedures, including the amputation of seven toes. “Cancer strengthened the hell out of my relationship with my parents.”

While his parents bid their influence, Ray’s faith served as more motivation. He had every reason in the world to be down, but was inspired by Proverbs 17:22.
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Faith made it possible for Ray to deal with a phobia that had long plagued him but he now needed to face head on: needles. He reached back to basketball and applied the mental preparation to shoot a free throw to the task of taking an injection. “They teach you to do the same thing every time. To shoot, I would dribble three times and place my finger on the air hole. In the hospital, I repeated to myself, ‘Jesus died on the cross three times; you are such a wuss for thinking this hurts.’”

Along with his parents and faith, modern medicine helped save Ray Johnston’s life. At one point in time, Ray had 26 doctors working with him. He took an experimental drug called Tamibarotene that is now in second phase clinical trials.  The sheer number of talented people working with him made Ray want to win – in this case, beat the cancer.

Beating the odds of cancer drove Ray to take on new odds, now that of pursuing a professional career in music. When asked about chances of his being both a professional athlete and a professional musician, Ray responds with measure, “How do I answer that without sounding cocky?”

He points to having a similar support network in the music profession as he did in sports. When he played ball with athletes like Devon Harris and Josh Howard, it elevated his play. He calls his fellow musicians an “NBA All-Star Team of Band Mates.” Steve Jordon, Ray’s producer, has worked with Keith Richards, Stevie Wonder, and John Mayer. Ray seems to attract people willing to work hard for results that are not always certain. He believes he can lead them to success. He’s faced death five times in seven years; the pressures of the music industry don’t really scare him.

With sheer determination supporting each downbeat, The Ray Johnston Band mixes rock, jazz, county, and a little rumba to its performances. Touring the country, the band plays benefit concerts for organizations supporting cancer research. He carries a message to his audiences that is both personal to him and helpful in progressing beyond the pain he and they share.  His music reflects his perspective toward cancer. Upbeat. Confident.

His doctor once told Ray he would have trouble living to age 33. After playing for the Dallas Mavericks, beating back cancer, staging a successful musical career, and fundraising for cancer research, Ray has defied his doctor’s prognosis negative, clearly living a very full life.  He’s still holding out for the date with Jennifer Anniston and a cure for cancer.  He says he’s just getting started with life, and he knows that in an amazing way, his cancer helped get him there.

Rene Syler, A Cancer Survivor In The News on CancerForward.org

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On her final day as anchor of The Early Show on CBS, Rene Syler made an almost unbelievable on-air announcement: she was about to undergo a double preventive mastectomy although she didn’t have cancer.

That last title might not sound like a ringing endorsement, but from Syler’s point of view, it certainly is.

Her first book, “Good Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting,” was published in 2007 (along with its companion website, www.goodenoughmother.com), with a goal of helping frustrated mothers understand that they’re doing a good job without having to be perfect.

“The book was my missive on modern motherhood,” she explains. “There is no perfection in parenting and none of us grew up with a perfect mom or parents. We’ve got to learn to stop short-changing ourselves. Women have a tendency to put everyone else in the family before them. And by not taking care of yourself, that’s how you get sick. Who’s going to take care of your family then?”

“You can have dishes in the sink. You’re allowed to take time for yourself. Don’t worry about cooking every night for your family. You’re doing OK!” she adds.

You may know Rene from CBS News’ “The Early Show,” which she anchored from 2002 – 2006, capping a news career begun in 1987 in Reno, Nevada and which took her to Birmingham, Alabama, and then on to Dallas (anchor at two different stations in the space of ten years), and finally to the CBS morning program in New York City.

“It was kind of crazy,” she says of being named one of the hosts. “I had never aspired to go to network. My husband and I had just finished building a house in Dallas four months prior, and we had two young kids, but off we went, and I was ‘The Early Show’ for four years.” On the day of her final broadcast, she made an important announcement on-air: she was about to undergo a double prophylactic mastectomy. While Rene did not have cancer, she was surrounded by it. Both her mother and father had breast cancer, marking her by today’s standards a cancer survivor, and she believed the mastectomy was necessary to safeguard her own health.

“Everyone was very supportive, and I knew I had to do it. I had a young family, and even though I was having a biopsy every year, I needed to do it for my peace of mind,” she says.

While she didn’t set out to, Rene became a trailblazer. The impact of her decision was far-ranging. “After I did my piece on the show, my doctor told me six new patients came in for mammograms. One of them had cancer. Another woman had a preventative mastectomy at Sloan-Kettering, and the doctors found cancerous cells in the removed breast tissue that had previously gone undetected.” In her quest to protect her own health, Rene had begun saving others’ lives.

Today, Rene is spokesperson for Susan G. Komen for the Cure®, the largest grass roots breast cancer organization in the world, and works to spread the word about breast cancer and early detection. “I never wanted to, or set out to be, an advocate,” she says. “But I’ve found it’s important to use the platform because that’s how things change. I got involved with Komen because of my parents, but TV gave me a pretty powerful medium to get across the message about cancer prevention and detection.” And, that’s an important part of cancer survivorship: preventing recurrences through prevention awareness and early detection.

Rene continues to make guest appearances on “The View,” “The Nate Berkus Show,” “The Doctors” and “CNN Headline News.” “Certain shows call me a lot to do segments, either on health or parenting,” she explains. “I just finished doing the Anderson Cooper’s “Anderson” for the third time. I was doing a piece on
stay-at-home and working mothers.”

She also remains busy with her website. “It’s not just for moms,” she laughs, “and in fact, 25% of its readers are men. We talk about relationships, equality, gay issues, racial issues, you name it. I update it two or three times a day so it’s always fresh and current, like an ongoing conversation. We have to remember we’re all in this together.”

Susan Sparks, A Cancer Survivor In The News on CancerForward.org

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To go from practicing law to preaching grace is a hard transition. Susan Sparks successfully made it; and, she’s the only female comedian in the U.S. with a pulpit.

Humor has always been a part of her life as both a lawyer and a stand-up comedian. However, after conducting research for her book, Susan realized that there are many studies confirming both physical and emotional benefits of humor and laughter.

Now, as Senior Pastor of the historic Madison Avenue Baptist Church in New York City, Susan uses humor as the grounds for both her church ministry and comedy routine.

 MP: Do you find that people have a hard time seeing a minister as a stand up comedian as well?

SS: The bottom line is, when I tell people what I do, I’m a minister and a comedian, they say, “That’s so great! … Why?” And it’s over and over and over again; people do not understand the connection between humor and the sacred. So, I decided to put it down on paper – why I do what I do, and why humor can really enrich people’s lives. I also wrote a 125-page thesis in seminary, with stories and personal insights.

MP: Why do you think humor and laughing are such important subjects for you?

SS: I think it’s because I’ve seen the power in all aspects of life. When I was a trial lawyer, humor helped build rapport with juries. When you laugh together, even as strangers, you laugh and your life overlaps for just a moment. Of course it’s going to be important in preaching. Humor makes people feel more comfortable to hear a message and experience the worship and the gospel in a richer way. As a breast cancer survivor, humor was a healing tool. There are studies that show humor has positive physical side effects, but also emotional. Finding people who had that sense of joy in a difficult place, laughter and humor became an important tool.

MP: What do you think is the most important thing that comes from laughter?

SS: It depends on the situation. But the most important thing it brings is perspective. If you can laugh at yourself, you can forgive yourself. Daily life is perspective. What laughter brings the most is hope.

MP: Your breast cancer diagnosis was a big surprise for you. How did you find out?

SS: I was very lucky; I caught it early-stage, through a mammogram. I had been getting reports for a year or two that there was an area of dense tissue, but it was fine. One year, the results came back but needed further tests. I go in to have another mammogram, and they didn’t like what they were looking at. So, I had a biopsy – didn’t think they would find anything. But they did. I just melted, because I completely didn’t see it coming. It was considered early-stage; they took some lymph nodes, but it had not spread. I had radiation but no chemo. Since June (2011), I have been cancer free for five years.

MP: How did humor come into play with your experience with breast cancer?

SS: The day I was going into surgery, I was terrified. Right before I was getting ready to be put under, the anesthesiologist goes, “Don’t worry, this stuff is a great year,” and I started laughing, and went under laughing. When you go under, with increased oxygen or relaxation, your body recovers quicker. But there is a bigger picture to this. The air power, the relaxation – the recovery time I’m convinced was cut. Before I went into surgery, you have to go through all these tests. I was just in a nasty mood, I was scared. I went down to the last scan and was told me it was a liver scan. I told the tech, “I had two beers last night. Take that into consideration.” When he returned, with a serious face he said, “You have the early stages of ‘Bud Light’ syndrome.” What he did was make me laugh in that moment of fear and anger and everything, and just disengage and laugh for a moment. It was a little burden just got lifted for a moment – a moment to breathe and a moment to recharge.

MP: Did you initially have difficulty dealing with everyone asking you how you’re feeling and what’s going on?

SS: There were so many times I wanted to be left alone, wanted to crawl under the covers and hide. When dealing with cancer, especially with a loved one, allow them to be where they have to be. Sometimes that involves laughter, sometimes that involves off-color stuff, stories about their experience. We have to be strong enough to allow them to be in that place. And also allow them to pull away and be sad. Give space and allow it to happen – be with them and don’t feel like you have to fix everything yet.

MP: Have you heard any positive praise from cancer survivors who have read your book?

SS: I love that the book has taken wings on its own. When I hear feedback, it’s usually about the cancer and humor and hard times. Those are the chapters that draw people in. People write from all over the country that have been diagnosed saying, “Thank you for writing this part in the book.” People are hungry for honest conversation about what to do when you hit the crisis point.

MP: Was it difficult not to allow the cancer diagnosis to define you?

SS: It’s very difficult to not allow the diagnosis to define you. For the first couple of years I was just excited to be out of it. Now when I go for mammograms, it’s stressful. The diagnosis never goes away, because you never know. It stays with you for the rest of your life. What’s important is finding some joy in waking up and having another day. You’ve been given a second chance. I wake up in the morning and I worry about work or I don’t feel well and think, “Do I have cancer of the fingernail or something?” Then I remember that I am a very blessed individual and focus on it everyday.

MP: In your book, you discuss packing up and traveling the world for two years. What caused you to decide to do this?

SS: Utter confusion. I had practiced law for 10 years, yet knew I was getting called to the ministry but wasn’t sure how that would work. So, I did what I did best, and I ran. I was able to take two years off. During my second year off, I drove Alaska highway; I fly fished, camped, came back into the state and hit every national park in the country. There’s something so freeing about a solo trip, in your jeep, stopping at a camp site, meeting new people. I think it was a coming of age for me. You read all the books, you study the things you want to but haven’t experienced it. You pray in ways you haven’t thought about. It changed my life in terms of spiritual and perspective of the world.

MP: How does being a comedian and a minister continue to fulfill and balance your life?

SS: Each grounds the other. The standup helps keep you in the loop of how do you find funny things in life, and continue to find humor in things. The church grounds the standup by putting it in real terms. In church, one doesn’t have a job, this one is going through a divorce, there’s a cancer diagnosis etc. That is the reality of life. If you can’t take the humor and ground it in reality, you have a problem. A minister and a standup are the exact same jobs, if you do them right – standing with people in good times and bad.

MP: If you could give one piece of advice for those with and having survived cancer, what would it be?

SS: Keep hope. No matter what state you’re in, no matter what your circumstances. There is a reason you’ve been given the gift of waking up that day, and the gift to give. Until the last breath we take, we’ve been given a gift to offer someone or something to someone as long as we breathe.

He’s the screenwriter and executive producer of the hit comedy “50/50” a film inspired by his own journey of coming to grips with a spinal cancer diagnosis at a young age. Kate Allen Stukenberg chats with Reiser about his emotional inability to deal with the cancer, the often futile but humorous efforts of others to help, and how funny man and real-life best friend Seth Rogan ultimately set him on his path to finally finding his emotional way.

Will Reiser, A Cancer Survivor In The News on CancerForward.org

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“50’50” was borne out of a coping mechanism for young friends Will Resier and Seth Rogan, shown here together on the movie’s set.

KAS: You found out you had cancer when you were age 25?

WR: Twenty-five. Correct.

KS: Were you having some health issues or was it just a routine physical?

WR: I had been sick for a while. I was losing weight and having these really awful night sweats. I would just wake up drenched. My bed would be soaked. My clothes would be soaked. The people around me could kind of tell. I just sort of looked like I was deteriorating.

KS: What did you initially think was the cause?

WR: I basically went online and diagnosed myself. I had symptoms similar to a diabetic like the blood sugar crashes. I went to the doctor thinking that but it turned out to be something completely different.

KS: That must have been a definite shock. What type of cancer did you have?

WR: I had a tumor on my spine. When I originally went to the doctor they thought I had lymphoma. It was sort of misdiagnosed at first. It took a while for them to figure out exactly what it was that I had.

KS: How long is “a while?”

WR: A few months I would say…a few agonizing months with lots of tests. I was in the hospital three to four times a week undergoing lots of different tests. I had a really difficult time because this kind of tumor hides. It was hidden in the spinal cord and in the nerve.

KS: How big was it?

WR: They didn’t know. It was sort of a relief because when I was first diagnosed with lymphoma they thought it was low-grade lymphoma, which is incurable. So, like I said, it was a bit of a relief. It was kind of like this roller coaster. What the hell is going on?!

I went to specialists and multiple doctors. They finally figured it out.

KS: Did you go to your general practitioner at first?

WR: Well I didn’t even have a general practitioner. I had lived in Los Angeles for a year and a half. I didn’t have a doctor. A co-worker referred me to his GP. He turned out to not be the greatest doctor in the world.

KS: Did that doctor refer you to someone else?

WR: I had a friend who was good friends with the top lymphoma specialist in Los Angeles.  I called his office and tried to make an appointment. His assistant said it would take four months to get an appointment. Obviously, I couldn’t wait four months so I called the hospital and had him paged. He called me back and said, “I understand you tried to reach me.” I told him I’m a friend of so and so’s and she said I should give him a call. Apparently this is the best way to get in contact with a doctor. Going through his assistant was not the way to do it. Then I went in to meet with him and he said I did not have lymphoma. Actually, he was the one who figured out that it was in my spine and back. He sent me on to a surgeon who could make a better evaluation. I went on to that surgeon and he confirmed it was in my spine and sent me to a neurosurgeon. And the neurosurgeon was the one who really figured out exactly what was going on. Along the way there were just a million tests and a lot of poking and prodding. It was pretty nerve- wracking.

KS: Where was your family?

WR: My family was in New York at the time and I was in Los Angeles. My mom came out to LA and she went with me to one or two doctor’s appointments. I could not handle it and put her on a plane back to New York. I couldn’t deal with having her there. I was not the most patient with her. I kind of pushed her away.

KS: I completely understand. We’ve all been 25 years old.

WR: Exactly. Who at 25 wants their mother taking care of them? I immediately put her on the plane.

KS: Well at that point did you rely on your friends to help you?

WR: Yeah. Seth Rogan is my best friend. He was there throughout the whole thing. He would give me rides. I had a few other friends who would come with me to appointments.

KS: But what about emotionally?

WR: I didn’t talk about it.  I was always the first one to make light of a situation, but I couldn’t make jokes about this. When I was 25, I didn’t know how to talk about my feelings.

KS: Why did you decide to write a screenplay about it? What did you hope to achieve by doing it? Was it for personal reasons to help you feel better?

WR: Seth and I were at a party one night. I was sick and had been for a few months. Just the way people would talk to me was really strange and we were making fun of the situation. We would make fun of how people would touch and hug me excessively. They would talk to me like I was a sick child. It was incredibly funny. People would ask me if I had a bucket list, like the movie. They would ask me what I was going to do and if I was going to Africa on a safari or to India. But what cancer patient would go to either of these places? They are like the most feces-infested countries. There’s no way my immune system could possibly endure that. So we were just making fun of how no one knows how to react to a situation like that and also how there’s never been a movie that depicted the experience of having cancer at 25 and living a normal life. At that time we were constantly trying to think of things to work on together. We were always coming up with ridiculous ideas. And that night at the party Seth and I were like …”we should do a parody of the bucket list and we’ll call it the fuck it list.”

It would be this ridiculous absurd version of two young guys, one who is sick and just wants to do nothing but stay in bed all day and wallow in his misery, and his best friend who wants to exploit his friend’s cancer to do all the things he has always wanted to do. That was where the idea initially came from. We talked and joked about it but once I got better, Seth and my other good friend Evan Goldberg [Evan co-wrote “Superbad” with Seth Rogan] really kept urging me to write the story. There were so many stories and moments with doctors, friends, and family.

KS: So even if it didn’t go anywhere you knew you needed to write this stuff down?

WR: Well, they really believed there was a movie there. I was really into it but I had never written a screenplay before. I had only worked in television. I was terrified because I was unearthing a lot of traumatic experiences. From the moment Seth and I came up with the idea I started thinking about the characters. Kyle and Adam were born out of those conversations. After I got better, I probably spent the next year writing down those ideas. I eventually sat down and wrote an outline for it. That was 2005. I finished my first draft January 2008.

KS: That’s a quick turn around for the movie to be in theatres in 2011.

WR: Yes. Ironically, the night that Seth and I came up with the idea for the movie is the night I introduced Seth to his wife. They ended up getting married the same weekend the movie came out into theaters.

KS:  What did you learn from writing about your cancer story? You mentioned not having an outlet before so was this your new outlet for your feelings?

WR: It was incredibly cathartic. It forced me to look back and reexamine. The experience made me process a lot of what happened and what I felt…all the different emotions I didn’t know how to express. It was really a great way of saying all the things I didn’t know how to say when I was sick. It forced me to confront how I pushed my mother away and how unfair I was to her.

The first draft of the screenplay had a lot of the pieces of what was in the final version. What was missing was that the main character, Adam, wasn’t really flawed. He was neurotic like me and had all of my tendencies; but, he was sort of unflawed when everyone else around him wasn’t. I wrote myself as being perfect and the reason why is because I didn’t have the perspective. I was still really angry and I saw myself as this victim. It was unconscious but I think that’s really common.

Conversations with Seth and Evan about the screenplay forced me to look at how I behaved. How I maybe latched on to certain relationships and relied too much on them. How I didn’t know how to tell people what I needed and wanted. Just having that conversation really forced me to look at myself. It’s one thing to make fun of yourself but it’s another to really go back and examine some of the harder truths. This movie has been a great conversation starter for things that were unsaid. After writing the screenplay, I really let go of that experience. Coming out of it I really felt damaged by it; like a tornado came through and tore up my life. That’s what cancer does to a lot of people. You’re kind of left afterward trying to pick up the pieces. It helped me let go of that and the emotions I had suppressed.

KS: Did your diagnosis affect other people? How did they handle it?

WR: It was tough. It was really hard on everyone. In some ways, it can be easier for the survivor because everyone around him is feeling down. I was allowed to be grumpy or have a bad day. I didn’t have to be Mr. Personality all the time. Whereas the people around me had a lot of pressure to constantly be positive and supportive. That can be really hard. They didn’t know how to talk about it.

KS: At the time you can’t even appreciate it and you just want everyone to be normal?

WR: It was hard for me. It can be harder on the people around. I think for people to see that someone they love is sick and then not be able to do anything about it is really difficult.  When you’re actually sick, you find a way to deal with it.

KS: Was it hard to watch the film?

WR: No. After writing it I had processed it; and, after making the movie I let go of viewing it as my story. Most everything I write is inspired by something I’m going through in some way or another. That’s how I connect with my characters. Watching it, I was thinking of it more as the filmmaker. Well, watching it with my family was nerve-wracking.

KS: How did they respond?

WR: I was really nervous about how my mother would react. I didn’t know if she’d appreciate the way the mother is portrayed in the movie…how the audience would respond to her character. It’s tough when someone is writing a picture of you and you have no control over it. I was pretty nervous.

KS: At least you had Angelica Huston playing your mother.

WR: She did an amazing job. My mom was really excited.

KS: What was your favorite scene in the film?

WR : It would be the scene where Seth’s character, Kyle, confronts Rachel about cheating on Adam. He basically kicks her out of the house. I just think Seth is so funny in that scene.

KS: How does your history of cancer play a part in your life today? And how has it changed you? Does it affect things about you?

WR: I think it affects me physically…just from the surgery. After six years of physical therapy I’ve pretty much gotten back to normal. I’m probably stronger and much better off physically than I used to be. I don’t really think about the cancer. I just think about how this movie has connected me with other cancer survivors. When I wrote the movie I was really writing from my point of view and I had no idea other people would connect to it.

KS: What’s the best thing you’ve heard from another survivor since this film has come out? How your film helped them?

WR: One guy told me his stepfather died from cancer 20 years ago and his mother had not talked about it once since. And after seeing the movie it was the first time she had been able to talk about it. That’s really validating and gratifying the way the movie can have that reach. That wasn’t the intention when making the movie; but, it’s nice to know the movie has created a broader discussion. It’s a really difficult thing to talk about so it’s gratifying to hear that from someone.

KS: What advice do you have for other survivors? Other people who have cancer? Maybe someone who’s 25 years old?

WR: Honestly, two things: first goes to the ability to talk about it. I think that communication is so important; and, that was something that was so hard for me. It doesn’t have to be “talking;” find an outlet and some other form of expression. And I also think humor is what brought me and my friends through it all. It was the only way we coped. In dark times people are sometimes afraid to laugh, but humor is such a powerful tool. If you’re in a situation where you don’t know what to say just making fun of yourself will help.